A letter in the Times on the theme of Franglais.
Apparently a new motto was required for the French Navy.
They decided upon 'To the water: it is time'.
In French 'A l'eau: c'est l'heure';
In Franglais 'allo saileur!'

This is how you know when dictators have crossed the final line—when not even academics will support them.

• Write some song lyrics using appropriate scientific language to describe how the heart functions. [How about According to My Heart?]
• You are a steak sandwich. Write a first person story to describe what happens to you as you are eaten and go through the digestive process. [Alimentary my dear Watson]
• Write some song lyrics using appropriate scientific language to describe what happens during digestion.
• Create a Powerpoint™ presentation on the human circulatory or digestive system. Your Powerpoint™ must include detailed text on the biological system and images. [and lots of swish transitions and colourful fonts]

In a small Texas town, Drummond's bar began construction on a new building to increase their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not."

They’re not bombing them because they’ve got drugs; they’re bombing them because they’ve discovered the Philosopher’s Stone.

The journey will be difficult. The road will be long. I face this challenge with profound humility, and knowledge of my own limitations. But I also face it with limitless faith in the capacity of the American people. Because if we are willing to work for it, and fight for it, and believe in it, then I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on earth. This was the moment — this was the time — when we came together to remake this great nation so that it may always reflect our very best selves and our highest ideals. Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America.
[my bolding, obviously]