Please. If parents don’t have the wherewithal to say no when their kids ask for something they saw on TV, their problems go far beyond the risk of chubby offspring.

The main problem with Barber, who continued a diet consisting largely of burgers and fries despite a heart attack and warnings from his doctor, was that his stupidity was literally unbelievable. "They said, ‘100 percent beef.’ I thought that meant it was good for you," he claimed after filing the lawsuit in July 2002. "Those people in the advertisements don’t really tell you what’s in the food. It’s all fat, fat, and more fat. Now I’m obese."

Interestingly, the same study also found evidence that declines in smoking have contributed to rising BMIs, since people tend to gain weight when they give up cigarettes. Banzhaf failed to note this finding, perhaps because he’s afraid fat people might start suing anti-smoking activists.